A Grandson is Born

“THE WATER HAS BROKEN.” I could hear the excitement in my son-in-law’s voice. It was one month too early but we were about to have a baby. Babies have their own schedules and this little one had decided that it was time to greet the world.

The morning began like most regular mornings. Nikki had an appointment with her doctor and so I decided to drive her and Grant to the hospital for their appointment. I should have known that it was going to be a different kind of day when I saw the flashing police lights in my rear view mirror. I had turned left unto the road for the hospital and had not noticed the 2 huge signs that read “NO LEFT TURNS.” The truck before me blocked my vision of the signs and the cops were on me like white on rice. Tickets in New York are very expensive and I was not pleased.

Nikki was tired. She had walking up five flights of stairs once or twice a day for all of her pregnancy. That week her teenage cousins were in New York and she walked all over Manhattan showing them the sights. She had thought about telling Grant to carry her bag to her doctor’s appointment that morning but decided against it. The baby was not due for another month, but no one knows her body like a woman.

The rest of us were not ready! I had just moved to New York to attend Pratt Institute and all my worldly belongs were in a truck parked at my realtors office in New Jersey. The house that would have the beautiful baby’s room painted in pale green could not be moved into. That week Nikki and Grant’s tiny one bedroom apartment was housing 8 adults, JJ, Chris, and Suk, who had all driven with me from Houston, Catherine and Nicole (visiting cousins), Grant, Nikki and I. There was definitely no room in the inn.

But none of that seemed to matter. The only thing at hand was that the water had broken and my daughter was getting ready to become a Mother. So, what next? Grant had been instructed to go and get food for Nikki in preparation for the long hours of labor ahead. There would be no more food once the process started. The hospital rules were that only two people could be in the birthing room at one time, so we would all take turns with the exception of Grant who would be there throughout the birth. Sometimes we bent the rules a little and three of us were in the room with Nikki. Suk made friends with the Korean nurse who did not kick us out.

I had the late night shift. At 11:00 pm that Friday night Nikki, Grant and I were playing cards and Nikki was winning ruthlessly with no labor pains. By this she had been given at least one bag of Pitocin and was 4 centimeters dilated but there were no labor pains. It was not quite the labor process that we had expected. At 2:00 a.m. on Saturday morning there were still no labor pains and the night nurse was not happy that Nikki was sound asleep.

In the morning it was time to change shifts. J and Chris stayed at the hospital while I went to the apartment. Midwifes and doctors changed shifts also. A fresh bag of Pitocin was prescribed and the word “cesarean” was uttered by the new doctor which made Nikki very unhappy. It was not until around 6:00 p.m. that Saturday evening that the situation changed. The midwife on duty discovered that Nikki’s water had not broken fully, there was membrane covering the baby’s head. She broke the water sack and then the drama began. I returned to the hospital to find Nikki in pain.

Now if you have had a baby you know what labor pains are like. No fun. Every birth is different, but with the birth of my three children I remember PAIN. I often describe labor pains as having ones hand in a door that is repeatedly and mercilessly slammed for an unknown number of hours. But no one knows what another woman in labor will experience. Each mother-to-be must go through the experience herself. But what is it like to see your own child in pain? How do you help, knowing that the pain can get much worst before it gets better and that labor can take minutes, hours or days?

Nikki was planning to get an Epidural so that would shorten the time for the intense pain. By this she was no longer comfortable. I saw her experience her first real contractions. The midwife on duty came into the room right after a bad contraction but Nikki unfortunately smiled at her at which the midwife decided that she had about an hour before she could receive the Epidural when she was in “real pain”. I could see the look of terror on Nikki and Grant’s faces. One more hour of pain.

The boys were now back at the apartment so I went into the hall to advise them of the change of events, but on the way back to the room I overheard the doctor on duty talking to the midwife. The doctor was warning the midwife that she did not want Nikki waiting hours before she received the Epidural. She said that she had seen to many times when pregnant mothers were allowed to remain in pain for hours and it was not going to happen on her watch. She was not happy. It seemed that while I was on the phone the doctor had gone into the room and Nikki was having a hard contraction. With the warning from the doctor, plans changed and Nikki was immediately given the Epidural.

The midwife who was about to change shifts told Grant and I that this would be a good time to get something to eat and get some rest as the baby would not be here for hours But that was not meant to be. Nikki continued to have pain even after the Epidural, but this time it was in her back. A new midwife came to introduce herself and examined Nikki. It in less than 20 minutes Nikki had dilated to 10 centimeters and the midwife announced “we are ready to have this baby.” It was time to get into action.

I ran outside to call the boys. I told them to grab and cab and get there as soon as possible. Back in the birthing room Nikki continued to have back pain. Chris, JJ and Suk were at the hospital in no time flat. As Chris and I walked towards the birthing room we were again warned that only two people were allowed in the room at one time, but the midwife had said it was okay for Chris to join Grant and I if it was okay with Nikki. Chris found a corner to stand where he was out of the way. He was armed with his text messaging ability to keep Suk and JJ informed of the blow by blow event.

I took a spot at Nikki’s right side and Grant was stationed at her left. I was not sure what to say, how to encourage her. I had not read any “How to” books written with the right words to help your child through childbirth. So I said what seemed to work. “You are doing good”, “breath”, “that was a good push” and any other words of encouragement that I could find that seemed to sound right. Nikki was pushing as hard as she could at the instruction of the midwife. It seemed that we were all inhaling to help Nikki push. Then the call for that final push, the mega push, that one push that needed to be bigger than all the other pushes, the push that would propel the baby into the world. It seemed as thought together, Nikki, Grant, Chris and I sucked all the air out of the room as we all inhaled as Nikki pushed with all the strength she could muster. It was that final push that brought little Cadyn Austin Carroll into the world.

He was a beautiful, healthy baby boy. After Grant cut the umbilical cord, little Cadyn was wrapped up and placed in a side room where he was examined. I had to make a choice. I could continue staying beside my daughter as a supporting mother or I could go and see my new grandchild. You guessed it. I was off to see my new Grandson. What an unbelievable sight. He was so tiny. It did not seem real, sort of surreal. Ten tiny little toes and fingers, that tiny little mouth and noise all perfectly formed and so cute. He was only five pounds six ounces and beautiful. Together Grant and I stared at the little miracle each at the point of tears.

Cadyn was placed in an incubator because he was considered premature. The nurse pushed him towards the nursery and on the way he was greeted by his new Uncles. What an excitement. The Uncles were equally elated. Once he was taken to the nursery it was time to inform family and friends. Phone calls were made heralding Cadyn’s birth. Cheers in the waiting room. Cheers on the phone. Over and over we each shared the excitement of Cadyn’s birth with those who could not be there.

It was the beginning of a new era. Life as we knew it would never be the same. I was now a Grand Mother and my little girl was now a mother. She and Grant now had a son to love and raise, Cadyn Austin Carroll, a beautiful baby boy.

Three months old and beautiful

I am sure Grand Mothers of old probably spent more time drinking in the beauty of their Grand Children. I am a different kind of Grand Mother. I am a full-time student in a very demanding program, spending hours on projects and sometimes not holding my Grand Son for days even though I live in the same home with him. Sometimes, to feel connected, I often enquire of my daughter “How is Cadyn doing this morning? Did he sleep well last night? How much does he weight?” I suppose I am trying to gain information to make up for the time that I wish I could spend holding him instead of making another model or reading another book or completing another drawing.

But even with all my “business” I would not give up the time I do get to spend with him for the world. Sometimes I am lucky enough to get to put him to sleep. That does mean that I have to sit on the big exercise ball and bounce him as he really likes that motion. Then there are the many times I watch him frantically hunt for that evasive pacifier that has dropped from his sucking lips. I get to help him find it and place it back in his mouth only for it to drop out again and repeat the process over again.

Sometimes he takes his little hand and holds my hand close to him. I don’t know that he knows who I am as yet. He is just three months old. But I love that little gesture. It makes me feel special. Every now and then he gives me a smile. They seem to be real smiles now and not gas or a muscle twitch. Not sure what makes him smile. He just bursts with a big one every now and them and his smile lights up the room.

It must be a Grand Parent thing, as I am still trying to see who he looks like. He really is just himself, a mixture of my daughter and son-in-law. He is so cute. The other day one of my friends shared that when she sees Cadyn she things of my eldest son JJ. Some days I think he looks like J too. But really Cadyn looks just like himself. He has beautiful big eyes. Sometimes they look brown, other times they look grey. He has changed the life of this family.

Well it’s off to more school projects. I know that I will find time to spend with Cadyn today. Maybe he will share one of his wonderful smiles with me.

Meme at Child birthing Class

Giving birth to three children should have made me an expert at child birth, but after accompanying my daughter and son-in-law to their first child birthing class I discovered that there is always more to learn.

Of course we had to have our own family drama before the class began. My son-in-law had an appointment across town and was not expected to get to the class on time. Moments before the class began our attention was suddenly directed to the door where my very out of breath son-in-law stood. He looked like a wildman glowing with sweat. His eyes were red, his hair was wind blown and he had the resemblance of one who had jumped tall buildings and leaped over moving cars to get to this appointment, but he was there and that was all that mattered.

This was one of four classed that these young parents were attending. Of course I was the only Grand Parent there but that was okay. The nurse showed us a film on Healthy Pregnancy which was interesting but they really could have asked my daughter for pointers on this subject. Because they live on the 5th floor my daughter has to walk up 5 flights of steps daily, often struggling up the last flight. She and her husband make sure that they eat healthy meals at all times. She will not eat leftovers or anything that is microwaved in plastic. She disinfects everything and will violently accost anyone who has the nerve to smoke near her.

To end the class the nurse went over the myriad of tests that pregnant moms have to go through and meticulously explained the reason for each test. I know that I had many blood tests when I was pregnant, but pregnant mothers today seem to have twice the number of the tests.

Well the first class is behind us. It is fun being part of the team preparing to welcome this new life. There is still lots to do but I can’t wait to see that little face.

“Meme” in Waiting

Life changing news seems to come at night. Good news and sometimes not so good news. This special night brought great news, the type of news that changes lives forever.

It was almost Christmas, and the arrangements were all set for a joyful family time. It is always great to have the young people home with their excitement and laughter as they share old stores and memories of years gone by. But this year would be different.

The call came late at night. “Are you sitting down? We are going to have a baby!” At the other end of the line was my daughter. My little girl was going to have a baby. My daughter and son-in-law were both so excited. They had taken three at home pregnancy tests, but they wanted to have a blood test to be really, really sure, so I was sworn to secrecy. Plus, she wanted to tell her brothers before the rest of the world knew.

How do you keep from telling your friends that you are going to be a Grand Ma? Well that is easy. You don’t tell them, you let them guess. My conversation with my closest friend went something like this, “I have some really great news about the kids that I cannot share, but if you guess, then I did not tell you.” She made one guess and she had it, so I swore her to secrecy.

Then the big question, what did I want my first Grand Baby to call me? Grand Ma was already taken by my son-in-law’s Mom. I wanted a name that would be easy and fun. So the choice was not hard. My name would be Meme. It should be easy to say. “Come to Meme.” “Eat this just for Meme?” “Your Meme really loves you.”

So my life is changing. My daughter is now seven months pregnant and doing really well. She is a mother in waiting for her new arrival and I am Meme in waiting for my first Grand Child.